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Airlines
Eastern Airlines recently introduced a special half
fare for wives who accompanied their husbands on business
trips. Expecting valuable testimonials, the PR department
sent out letters to all the wives of businessmen who
had used the special rates, asking how they enjoyed
their trip. Letters are still pouring in asking, "What
trip?"
The Dog
Man and his friend meet on the golf course and decide
to finish off the round together. The friend has a little
dog with him and, on the next green when the friend
holes out with a 20 foot putt, the little dog starts
yipping and stands up on its hind legs. The Man is quite
amazed at this clever trick of the dog's and says, "That
dog is really talented! What does it do if you miss
a putt??"
"Somersaults."
"Somersaults!!!!!! How many of them does it do?"
"Mmm, depends on how hard I kick it up the ass!"
Law and Order
Diogenes went to look for an honest lawyer. "How's it
going?" someone asked.
"Not too bad," said Diogenes. "I still have my lantern."
A Modern Idea
Guy walks into a restaurant. Orders eggs.
The waitress asks, "How would you like those eggs cooked?"
The guy says, "Hey, that would be great."
My dog and your dog
Two women, who are dog owners, are arguing which dog
is smarter:
First woman : My dog is so smart. Every morning he waits
for a paper boy to come around and then he takes a newspaper
and brings it to me.
Second woman : I know
First one : How?
Second one : My dog told me
Friendly New York City
A tourist is visiting New York City when his car breaks
down. He jumps out and starts fiddling under the hood.
About five minutes later, he hears some thumping sounds
and looks around to see someone taking stuff out of
his trunk!
He runs around and yells, "Hey, bud, this is my car!"
"OK," the man says, "You take the front and I'll take
the back."
Ticket Collection
A person was going by train from Delhi to Bombay. He
kept getting off at every station to buy a ticket till
the next station. When the train reached Delhi, the
person's co-passengers asked him why he kept on buying
tickets instead of buying a ticket for the entire. The
person replied that his doctor had advised him against
taking long journeys.
A Lottery Winner
A man rushes into his house and yells to his wife, "Martha,
pack up your things. I just won the California lottery!"
Martha replies, "Shall I pack for warm weather or cold?"
The man responds, "I don't care. Just so long as you're
out of the house by noon!"
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